Proceeding now to 3:1, Peter states the command in this manner: "Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands." The verse does not say that every woman must submit to every man, but that every wife must submit to her own husband. Although this is the consistent testimony of Scripture (Ephesians 5:22; Colossians 3:18; Titus 2:5), it is opposed by many professing Christians, who use various tactics to neutralize it.

One popular attempt is to dilute the word's meaning into nothing more than a respectful attitude that in principle can exclude obedience altogether. However, as we have noted in connection with submission to the government (2:13) and to masters (2:18), the word translated "submit" is originally a military term meaning to arrange or place under the authority of another, and that for this word to mean what it means, obedience is naturally implied. One submits to authority, so that one obeys that authority. So when Scripture commands the wife to submit, it includes the idea to obey. She must do what she is told, and with a respectful attitude as well. Nothing less will do.

In one place, Paul writes that "the wife must respect her husband" (Ephesians 5:33). The KJV is slightly stronger and says "reverence." Perhaps this has contributed to the false teaching that Scripture commands only a respectful or submissive attitude and not also obedience in action and behavior. But the word is "fear" – the same one Peter uses of slaves when he says to them, "Submit yourselves to your masters with all respect" (3:18). As mentioned earlier, although the word does not carry the strength that it does when it refers to the fear of God, in our context it means at least a healthy apprehension of another's displeasure. It is not the kind of fear that one has toward God, but it is fear nonetheless, and it is more than mere respect.

Attempts in Christian scholarship to undermine the Bible's command range from the amusing to the ridiculous, and often include falsehoods and deceptions. For example, Paul writes in Ephesians 5:22, "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord." Commenting on this verse, we find the following in the Tenth Anniversary Edition of the NIV Study Bible:

To submit meant to yield one's own rights. If the relationship called for it, as in the military, the term could connote obedience, but that meaning is not called for here. In fact, the word "obey" does not appear in Scripture with respect to wives, though it does with respect to children (6:1) and slaves (6:5).

According to this, the word could mean obedience, as in the military, but it does not mean that here in Ephesians 5:22. Instead, it means merely "to yield one's own rights." The submission required of the wives is contrasted against the obedience required of children and slaves. In other words, children and slaves must obey, but the wives only need to "submit" in a sense that does not imply obedience.

The result is no ordinary theological error, but outright blasphemy. This is because, in that very passage, Paul asserts that the relationship between husband and wife and the relationship between Christ and the church are analogous to each other. He writes, "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything" (v. 22-24).

If the submission of the wives means anything less than obedience, then the submission of the church to Christ would also exclude obedience. That is, at least in principle, the church could exhibit perfect submission but complete disobedience to Christ. If to say that "wives should submit to their husbands in everything" means that they only need to "yield their rights" (whatever this means) to their husbands in everything without having to obey them in anything, then this is the attitude that the church may take toward Christ as well.

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