Speaking the Truth in Love

The following is taken from Vincent Cheung, Commentary on Ephesians (PDF, p. 102).

Instead of being tossed here and there by every heretical trend, we promote the growth of the body of Christ by "speaking the truth in love." Now, what does this mean? Many people seem to think that this means, "Assert the truth, but do it nicely." They define "love" according to secular social etiquette, the non-Christian standard of acceptable speech and behavior.

But if this is the right definition, and if this is the correct understanding of "speaking the truth in love," then Paul would be telling Titus to "speak the truth in hate" when he writes, "Therefore, rebuke them sharply, so that they will be sound in the faith and will pay no attention to Jewish myths or to the commands of those who reject the truth" (Titus 1:13-14). Paul's concern is obviously similar to our present one, that is, doctrinal accuracy and maturity. Yet, he says, "Rebuke them sharply, so that they will be sound in the faith." Well, is this love or not? Why do you think Paul says to rebuke them in the first place? Because he loves them (Proverbs 27:5; 1 Timothy 5:20).

Of course, to harshly rebuke someone is often not the first step against false doctrine or spiritual immaturity, but it is usually reserved for the obstinate and unrepentant, and those in close danger of spiritual shipwreck. The point is that "speaking the truth in love" does not demand that we always speak softly and nicely, but it is precisely our love that sometimes requires us to let out a thunderous rebuke against the sinning or erring believer. Paul writes, "These, then, are the things you should teach. Encourage and rebuke with all authority" – sometimes I encourage and sometimes I rebuke, but I always teach. Some people think that I should always encourage, sometimes teach, and never rebuke, but Paul assures me: "Do not let anyone despise you" (Titus 2:15). So I will keep on encouraging and rebuking people. Why? Because I love them.¹

 

NOTES

¹ To love does not mean "be nice." Biblical love is much greater than this. It refers to an obedience to the laws of God in our relationship with God and with people (John 14:21; Romans 13:10). It is volitional and sacrificial, often resulting in some corresponding practical action that benefits others at our own expense. Here we stress "speaking the truth in love" among believers. For a specific discussion on what love and hate mean in our relationship with unbelievers, see my Systematic Theology.