Commentary on First Peter (92)
We have already discussed the first part of verse 1. Now we will read it in full, along with verse 2: "Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives."
As mentioned earlier, as the head of the family, it is common for the husband's religion to be the household religion as well, so that for the wife to convert to another religion could be considered an act of insubordination. And it is natural for the Christian faith itself to receive at least part of the blame. What kind of religion is this that demands the wife to follow a different faith from her husband, and against his will? What kind of faith is this that requires the wife to renounce all other religions, including her husband's? It is, therefore, easy to think that the Christian faith poses a danger to the authority structure in the home.
Like Peter, there are not many good things that I can say about non-Christians. Men are foolish and wicked without Christ, and this is why they need salvation. But if I must commend non-Christian men for something, it would be the way that they put up with their Christian wives. What a testimony to the strength of the human spirit, even in its depraved condition!
In fact, without exaggeration, I marvel that there are not many more cases of divorce, suicide, domestic violence, and even murder incited by the nagging, domineering, self-righteous Christian wives. Speaking superficially, some unbelievers are quite tolerant of their wives' faith, at least in the beginning, and they are even supportive of their church activities. But many wives appear to have an almost supernatural ability to make the Christian faith repulsive.
There are so many types of examples that we cannot possibly consider them all. Some wives are just self-righteous and hypocritical. They profess the faith and put themselves on a moral pedestal, only that their bad attitudes seem to be getting worse and worse with time. Or, because they consider themselves morally superior (even though they are not so in behavior), they feel that they have the right to condemn their husbands for everything and to manipulate family decisions.
Some wives embarrass their husbands by acting like lunatics before friends and relatives, and think that by this they are being brave witnesses for the gospel. They do not seem to understand (or care) that their husbands are unlikely to be converted just because they constantly irritate them, referring to God in a thoroughly unrefined manner before other people, praying and praising in the most unexpected and inopportune moments, as if to test their patience.
I have known women who would scream "Praise the Lord!" after their husbands spent several hours or more trying to fix a problem or to avert a crisis. Christians would understand this behavior, but what would non-Christian husbands think? Will they fall on their faces and repent of their sins because of this? No, they would resent the fact that they have devoted so much into serving their families only to have the credit go to some God that they do not believe in. To them, this is not piety, but a slap in the face. But the wives think that this is what it means to be spiritual. What a difference it would make if they would say, "Thank you for doing this," or if she must mention the Lord, say, "I thank the Lord for a husband like you." Now, God can use that to melt hearts and change minds!