The Incomprehensibility of Dad

Or, the Henry-Peter Controversy.

Dad: “Henry, please empty the trash and take it out.”

Henry: “Oh, you are so wise, so strong, and so great. I am just your worthless, stupid son. Your thoughts are not my thoughts. I can never understand what you are saying. Emp…tee… the tra…ashhh? This is a great mystery…”

Peter: “What’s the matter with you? Dad just told you his thoughts. And he is making perfect sense. He is telling you to throw out the garbage. There is the bag. There is the door. Fill that bag with trash and walk outside with it.”

Henry: “Blasphemy! Do you think that the greatness of our father can be explained? I don’t care what you say. For that matter, I don’t even care what he says. He cannot be understood. How dare you bring him down to your level? If I hear you say that Dad makes sense again, I am going to see to it that this family disowns you. You got that? (Screams) I will destroy you! I will kick…you…out!”

Dad: “Son, are you all right? Why don’t you just accept what I say and do what I tell you?”

Henry: “(Screams) Shut up! I am just trying to show you some respect. Don’t worry, Dad. Peter insults you, but I’ll get him. (Sings) Hooowww greeeaaaat thooou arrrrt!”

So Peter takes out the trash. And Dad takes out Henry and puts him in a mental institution.

Henry fits right in, because there nothing makes sense, everything seems to contradict everything else, and everybody is just as confused as he is. Surrounded by contradictions, paradoxes, and antinomies, the thoroughly insane Henry is happy at last.