The Water-Walking Controversy

Peter: Lord, if it is really you, tell me to walk to you on the water.

Jesus: Come!

Thus Jesus gave his word, his promise that Peter could exercise this power and experience this miracle. Peter started walking toward Jesus. He was walking on the water as if it was solid ground. It was happening. It was indeed the word of God. It was indeed the will of God. Otherwise, he could not have taken even the first step. But as Peter saw the wind and the waves, he became fearful, and started to sink. As always, the false teachers were watching, and scheming.

 

Peter: Lord, save me!

Theologian #1: It must be the will of God for you to suffer!

Theologian #2: This is a gift from God! Embrace it! Learn from it!

Theologian #3: The mystery of suffering. Oh, the theology of the cross!

Theologian #4: Don’t waste your drowning!

Theologian #5: People are watching. Quick! Strike a pose as you sink. Try to look like a suffering saint. You can get a book deal out of this! “Where is God When I Sink?” “The Water-Walking Heresy.” “Christ-Centered Drowning.” “Sinking and the Sovereignty of God.” “Drowning for the Glory of God.” “The Redemptive-Historical Excuse for Sinking in Life.” There is a large market of idiots with itching ears for this kind of stuff.

 

Jesus: Peter, I gave you my word, but it takes faith to experience what I said. Why do you have so little faith? Why did you doubt? What did the wind and the waves have to do with it? Do you think it is easier to walk on calm water? What have I been teaching you about miracles? Walk by faith, not by sight! If you have faith, THEN you will see the glory of God. If you failed to experience a miracle, it is not because I did not give you my promise, but because you did not have faith.

Theologian #1: I knew it. You’re a Pentecostal Arminian.

Theologian #2: You insensitive faith heretic! Why don’t you shut up?

Theologian #3: Let him talk now. After we kill him, our followers will have hundreds of years to preach a different gospel and to destroy everyone that spreads his doctrine of faith. We will crucify him again and again until he is just a smudge on a piece of wood.

Theologian #4: I hate this guy so much. Just to rub it in his face, we will make our religion the Christian orthodoxy. We will say we are preaching his gospel.

Theologian #5: LOL